When I graduated from Film School in May of 2008, a dear family friend Carrie Sackett gave a picture. It consisted of hand stitched quote from Abraham Lincoln and a scripture below that. I remember thinking it was a lovely gift and I adored it but I didn't fully understand the true meaning of this gift of words. I didn't put it up for a long time as I moved to Texas and wasn't sure where to put it. However, every time I would see it underneath the piles of stuff placed in front of it, I would reread the words. They made me feel better but still I didn't know the full meaning.
When Jared and I were engaged, we were trying to pack up/ sort through my mountains of stuff to move to his apartment, he asked me about the picture and if I still wanted it. All day I had been going through things I had saved for years like a true pack-rat. Upon meeting Jared things had changed dramatically for me emotionally. I realized I had kept silly things for no reason at all but for one reason an emotional security blanket. The stuff made me feel safe for whatever reason. Man, I had collected piles of stuff.
Jared handed me the picture and we looked at it. I couldn't get rid of it so I packed it to move to the apartment. It was one of the first things I put on the wall. I knew I needed this picture but had no idea why.
Months passed, and it sat there waiting. Finally, it all makes sense.
Three weeks ago, Jared's work picked up to the point of exhaustion. I hardly saw him. It was started to make me feel insecure and alone. I wasn't upset with Jared but the situation. We hate being away from each other for very long. It has been something we try if possible to avoid. Even our haven of weekends was taken away from us, work or something else always took priority.
So Fourth of July weekend happens.
Thursday - I'm packing up things in the apartment going on little sleep and I start to cry and I can't stop. I'm exhausted and Jared worried comes home to cuddle me.
Friday - I still feel really weak but I decide to have a homemade date night for Jared and I. I did the works, candle lit dinner, clean-ish apartment, homemade manicotti, Jared's favorite beer, my hair straightened, make up on and a polk-a-dot dress. It was all completed by our band Coldplay playing softly in the background. It was lovely to spend an hour being able to talk and just smile at each other before Jared had to go to bed.
Saturday - Jared had to work. He left around five am. I met him for lunch and after lunch was done I was planning on going home. I couldn't leave him. I was near to the point of tears so he told me to come in the office and sit next to him while he worked. He assumed I wouldn't stay long after getting bored. I stayed seven hours until he was done for the day. It was wonderful but I still felt exhausted and overwhelmed. When we got home I looked at the picture and later I asked Jared to pray for me. We prayed and the next day prayed and the following day. The picture finally made sense.
It reads, "I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go." - Abraham Lincoln *Be joyful always; pray continually.* 1 Thes. 5:16-17
It has given me such peace and joy even with all the worries, stress, lack of sleep etc. I praise God for leading Carrie to give me such a wonderful gift of encouragement. It amazes me how God is so loving that he will give you the tools even before you need them. I think about his sacrifice on the cross, he willingly gave in order that even though I wouldn't be born for thousand year or more that I may know and love him. It puts me in complete awe.
Hopefully, this might mean something to you but if it doesn't, keep it in your tool bent. You never know when you'll need it. :)
